yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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