she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
God, I missed his penis.
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