some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
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Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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