I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
