Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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