No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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