420 ftw
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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