Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
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new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
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I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?