dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
