i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
