You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
