My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize