My Higher Power is John Stamos
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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