WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
