the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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