I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
