GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize