i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
