and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
