So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Randomize
