OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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