i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize