The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
