My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize