so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she peed on how many people?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
