Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you would pick up someone in the library
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
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You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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