Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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