at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it was like eating out sand paper
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
