You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
