They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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