he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
