she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize