Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
