im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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