i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize