Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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