he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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