we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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