i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
