Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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