Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
