yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
