Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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