# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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