this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
