Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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