no, he came in my armpit
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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