my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
