nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think my moral compass just broke
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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