Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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