If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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