I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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