Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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