Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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