Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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