Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
