Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
