you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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