Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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