there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
