I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
