you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
