so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize