Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
