I'm lost and stupid without you.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You can't just leave with hair like that
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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