After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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