I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
