i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
