I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
