I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
